zomgpwn!

Puppy Vs. Robot! Epic Battle For Territorial Domination!

Oh man.  Screw your HTML 5, Semantic Web and your little blog too!  THIS is why 'THE INTERNET' was inventored.  To bring us vicious, territorial fights ending in complete domination by one side or the other.  Which one will win?  WIll blood be drawn?  Will children run from the room screaming as their parents faint dead away from the shock of it all?   Nah.  It's just a puppy fighting a robot... but holy crap is it awesome.

We've watched it about fifteen times already and we're still ignoring that car alarm going off in the parking lot outside out offices and the annoying stabs of hunger shooting through our guts.  We just gotta watch it ONE more time.

        

Ahhhhh... that's the good stuff.  Bet you don't see THAT on Metacafe.  We love the slums of YouTube.  We feel so at home there.  *sigh*

Conan Made Huckabee; We <3 Hulu

We finally got our invite to Hulu today and any lingering doubts we had about the awesomeness of their delivery, architecture and overall business model were quickly dispatched after wonking about with their controls.  There are several specific features that made us raise an eyebrow and vow to continue brushing up on our RoR knowledge, including a 'dim the lights' feature which grays out all the busyness surrounding your currently streaming vid - and the smooth transitions between popping out, full screening then going back to the original embedded version, with nary a hiccup or restart.  *knocks back a shot of single malt Glenlivet*  Smooooooth man... smoooth.  Not to mention they have quite a solid lineup of content, including NBC, Fox, Bravo, G4, Sundance, plus lots more.

The most fun we've had so far was watching Conan's recent opening monologue/on-air faux battle with Messr. Colbert over who actually MADE Mike Huckabee.  Was it Norris?  Was it Colbert?  Or did Conan actually make ALL of them?  We think you know the answer.

That was followed closely by the fun of picking our own clip, then auto generating the embed code.  YES it was fun.  We swear.  Lookit.

Not only is the embed process seriously intuitive and easy to grasp, even for non-technophilez.. it just works.  The delivered stream looks top notch, the supporting ad is non-annoying and lasts exactly as long as it should, namely a few seconds. 

Who knows where Hulu will end up in the totem pole of 2.0 but they are strong out of the gate and we'll be watching them, and their content closely.  First we're gonna go eat someone else's lunch from the company fridge though.  Anybody need anything while we're up?

Qaeda don't Skype

OK, so it's a slow day.  We've started, then abandoned posts on the following topics.

Faux News Channel manages to out-stupid itself; gets smacked silly by Keighly.

HTML 5 finally here... almost.

Artificial life is real.  Wait, what?!

AT&T preps "Ministry Of Truth", readies 'thoughtcrimes' filtering online.

Then we saw THIS nugget and we couldn't resist.  al Qaeda's #2 crocktard A-a-Z is taking questions on the freaking intarwebz!  WTH?!  OK, ok... so far the questions have just been submitted but isn't that kind of ballsy, even for these guys?  It gives us a slightly queasy feeling to know that they are comfortable enough to even think about casually chewing the non-pork fat with their peeps.

Actually it almost seems innocuous, until you start to read the questions that have been submitted.  Even allowing for cultural differences, we're just a little bit unnerved - and it's not even because we're on our third cup of coffee.

The only plus we can see in this whole weird development is that there DOES seem to be a considerable LACK of communication between AQ's devotees and the official power structure.  Most of the questions we've seen are so varied and so broad in nature that it gives a picture of disarray, if not downright confusion.  Good enough for us.  As freaky as it is to see someone demanding that the jihad be spread into Egypt and Palestine immediately, it would be a lot freakier if homeboy Ayman actually started responding.

So, we'll just pretend that it's a big, early April Fool's joke for now and laugh nervously while we try not to click on any links that will get us tossed into the 'persons of interest' file we've heard so much about.

All we can say is, we reallly hope this guy jumps onto Skype or some VoIP service so an AC-130 can cruise by to weigh in on the discussion.  C'mon, fignuts!  Pick up the webcam and let's do this thing.

Weekend at Glickman's

Normally we don't jump on stories that have already achieved interdork levels of ubiquity but when the lion's share of outlets miss the real uptake on one, we feel compelled to voice our own irrelevant opinions on the matter so we can all read them back to each other and nod seriously while we go "Mmm hmmm... you are totally right about that, man.  I'm gonna ping Technorati right now."

So, OK!  Either the MPAA couldn't pass a pre-Algebra class or they have been deliberately inflating the percentage of their content being passed around CollegeNets.  Whatevs, homey!  Like we didn't know that crap already.  Now M$M is ROFL and having a good old time reporting this as if they are somehow not part of the problem. 

But dig this. (Actually if you could Twitter it or something that might be better.)  Whether this was actually 'human error' or deliberate obfuscation on the part of the MPAA matters little now.  If they can be THIS wrong about THIS statistic then WHAT THE HELL ELSE ARE THEY 29% WRONG ABOUT?  Ummm... wdk..  EVERYTHING?  When you're talking 'billions' of $ then 29% matters, a lot.

Also there seems to be a curious lack of interest or care on the part of the blogiverse regarding the inverse conclusion to be drawn here.  Where is that missing % actually coming from?  Broadband growth might be slowing a tad on the global scale, but only because it was blowing doors for a couple of years.  Plus, guess which market bucks the overall trend and just keeps on booming.  Thaaat's right, noodlenose.  The good old North American one.  *brushes own shoulder off*  Yanks + Canucks + Fat Pipes = <3.

Additionally, the concept that it's only or mostly students utilizing p2p is antiquated.  Especially when you look at the issue in 'internet time.'  Of COURSE it's still present on most campuses, but the massive smackdown that most network managers/administrators have been engaged in for quite sometime, combined with the uptick in malware attacks means that a significant portion of the student population has found other ways to share what they want to share.  (Our lips are sealed.)  While the MPAA and RIAA have been busily sighting up this relatively easy target, everyone who ISN'T rocking an .edu address has been busily and increasingly enjoying their content for free.

So while it feels good to point the finger at the MPAA and laugh at their, now exposed and naked, ridiculous claims.  Let's all take a moment to point the finger up our own silly asses and regroup here.

The RIAA is lying to you.  Music labels and distribution companies are lying to you.  Game publishers/sites, media conglomerates and 'news' outlets... all tell you that they're wearing protection.  But trust your own instincts.  They actually blew right by the drug store on their way over without even slowing down.  The simple reason is they CAN'T WAIT TO SCREW YOU and they don't care what they have to say or do to get your face in the pillow.  Their very real attitude is 'bend over, shut up and take it.'

When any massive corporation begins to sue individual users of its content, regardless of the details involved, that means one thing and one thing only.  The global chief of that corporation just realized that he can't buy the private island he wanted to give to his mistress for her birthday, so he had to settle for buying her a yacht instead.  Think we're exaggerating?  That's OK.  It IS hard to imagine it, even for us sometimes.  But we've seen it with our own eyes, and it is NOT pretty.

The issues of 'piracy' and or 'illegal content' should be decided by each individual based on their own moral compass, not the supposedly shrinking coffers of Interglobal Recordz & Moviefilms Inc.

We realize there's a large segment of the consumer population out there that would take this as an extreme or borderline conspiratorial statement.  Hey... whaddaya gonna do?  It's analogous to that friend you had at one time who was dating someone that was ssoooo wrong for them.  You know... the kind that's not even subjective.  Like when your friend was banging that 62 year old Philosophy prof. for a better grade, and he got inside her head and convinced her she was in love with him?  You couldn't change her mind with a sledgehammer so you just had to let her figure it out for herself.  Then she showed up at your place in the middle of the night sobbing about how he pushed her out of his car in front of Food Lion and sped away without saying a word.  It's like that.  Exactly.

She wasn't stupid. She just bought into an attractive lie so she could pretend she was 'making love' instead of getting used like plastic or paper ma'am.

It's time to force that old prick into retirement, or at LEAST get some incriminating shots of him while he's drunk at a frat party and post them on Facebook.

The next time you see some 'report' put out by the RIAA, assume it's a lie.... because it is.  The old business models are dead.  They have been for quite some time.  We're living through their echo... the sounds of their death throes are still bouncing around the canyon walls but the corpse is already stinking.  If the MPAA and RIAA want to slap sunglasses on it and drag it around to try and collect its Social Security checks for a little while longer then that's what they're gonna do.

Just don't let them get into your head with threats and/or false information.   Remember that YOU have the choice to pay for what you feel has value and to NOT pay for what you feel doesn't.   Support new business models, especially the ones who favor cutting out the traditional middle man tier and instead increase the profit share for the people who are creating the art.

Society will be rewarded when it nurtures talent and genuine prolificacy over executive salaries and profit margins.  We love making money and the free market economy as much as the next schmo with a rent payment due.  What we don't love is a manipulated and pre-formed assembly line system of 'approved entertainment'.  You don't need someone to tell you what music, movies or tv shows are 'good' or 'bad'.  You can and should decide that on your own.

Netflix rules your face off with pure awesomeness

OK, so we're a little biased here.  But bear with us. 

Have you ever put your Netflix account on hold?  We just did since the ZOMGPWN! offices are moving soon and we didn't want any of our VIDs (Very Important Discs) to get waylaid in the murky depths of the USPS sorting centers.  God forbid we were delayed from watching History Channel documentaries or UFC 55-71 for one extra second.

So, when we pumped the virtual brakes, we noticed that surprisingly kind dev team over at Da Flix threw up a message on the thank you page mentioning we'd still have 'full access' to the Netflix website.  "Hmmmm.." we muttered out loud to no one in particular.  The office armadillo "Ballmer" surely took no notice of our musing.  Then we got distracted by a kick ass hummingbird flying around the courtyard and totally forgot about the whole thing.  Seriously, hummingbirds are damn cool.

Anyway, later on, we remembered that vague, leading promise and decided to see how FULL our access really was.  Would Netflix still let us stream their rapidly growing catalog of 'Instant' selections even though we weren't paying for physical DVD rentals?  That would just make way too much sense to possibly be possible.

So, we dialed up Doug Stanhope's 'No Refunds' just to be mega ironic about the whole thing.. and damn if their sniffer didn't start sniffing us.  Works like a champ, chippie.

This MIGHT be cause for the creation of the PWNIES, our very own web awards and Netflix is gonna get the very first one.  Regular readers of this site know that we're very, very hard on any corporate entity seeking to aggressively lace down their own virtual coffers since most of the time that involves putting cost considerations over customer considerations.  We get the basic tenants of capitalism, the free market economy and cutthroat competition in the DVD rental space.   But we also get common sense.

Netflix just blasted us in the face with a double barrel full of it and we're still reeling like Clubber Lang at the end of Rocky III.   ZOMGPWN! openly admits that it has no experience with any of the other major rental services but if Netflix keeps this stuff up we might just ask our Grandma to buy us some NFLX shares as our reward for making it all the way through bartender's school.

Who wants a Tom Collins with WAY too much sweet & sour mix?  Anybody?

Home Broadband Office unboxing... in.. Green Bay? Hmm!

We've been hearing for a while now that HBO was 'mulling over' some sort of entry into the Broadband On Demand service for their, admittedly mostly superior television content.  The 'mulling' stage is officially over. (Anyone else feel like some hot apple cider right now?  Yeah, us neither.)

Announced today is the amazing, exciting new service that will allow YOU, yes YOU to view HBO shows, films and specials on your very own li'l PC!  Yes, the one with half of a ripped Hello Kitty sticker on the top that your niece happily applied while you were on the phone with your girlfriend trying to convince her to go see Cloverfield instead of Juno..... the one with the DVD tray that sticks like a mf'er and shuts off inexplicably for no reason sometimes when you're not looking.  THAT ONE.   That is... IF you live in Green Bay or Milwaukee... and you subscribe to HBO (duh)... and you must be using your cable service as your intarwebz provider... and your last name has to start with C, L, P, R or Y.  I think...  Not totally positive on the last one, but you get the drift.   Hey, Brett.  You gave it your best shot, dude.  We'll always love you more than Eli, no matter WHAT happens.

One day the rest of us might get to experience the wonder of watching TV SHOWS on our computer.  Wow.  Until then we'll have to make do with... oh I don't know..  Amazon Unbox, Hulu, Joost, Netflix.. stuff like that.  Of course we here at ZOMGPWN! deplore unapproved evil technologies like BitTorrent and DiVx so you should probably not even Google those if you don't know what they are.  You could end up in MPAA/RIAA jail with the rest of the enemy combatants.

OK, so we're playing a little rough with the Home Box Office bunch.  Let's be honest here.  HBO knows they've got the shiznit when it comes to programming.  Most HBO content is TOP NOTCH, even by our stringent and snooty standards... and we don't just mean that one show with the mob boss who faints all the time or the one about the gay funeral home.  HBO makes a real effort in all segments of programming and the smartest thing they're doing is offering it ALL to this new potential slice of the market.  Specifically, we applaud the inclusion of their sports programming, documentaries, late-night boobie shows and the original Spanish language stuff.   That pretty much covers everybody.

The other smartness involved here is the delivery system.  Participants can control programming via a UI that's a nice mash-up of DVR and On Demand style interface. 

Therefore, as much as we'd love to poop on this parade, we really can't.  HBO seems to 'get it' re: what customers want and at least they're really trying here.  Also despite our chiding, limiting this to two cities close to one another - with different population bases will allow their team to do some quality tire kicking, which should mean a smoother national roll-out should that day ever come.

As long as their parent Time Warner doesn't try to charge $30 in BB fees to DL one episode of Big Love, this puppy has a real chance.

Another skeptic take from alleyinsider.com here.

Don't Blinkx twice? It's alright.

ZOMGPWN! are unabashed fans of everything Blinkx does so we thought we'd cover what they've been up to lately.  We'd love to see them hooking up with some partners who have fatter pockets... and pipes.  (Get your mind out of the gutter, pervy!)

But now that the WGA and broadcast TV are sticking to each other's wickets, original online video content should theoretically get a bump in quantity and quality.  Then again that's what they said about, that.. um... other thing that they said that about.  Remember?  You totally do, dude.

Anyway, the list of new partners we just read about is pretty exciting because it means that there's plenty of life left in the Blinkxters.  WE LOVE that Blinkx pimps the Indies and shares out revenue properly.

Jumping on board the Blinkx bandwagon are the following entities: Calon TV, ChannelFlip.com, Channel X, Foothill Entertainment, Future Shorts, jeko.tv, Journeyman Pictures, Looking Glass International, MoMedia, Monster Distributes, Reelport, Wysiwyg Films and YoungCuts.

Big ups, Suranga.

Actual MySpace URL pedo exploit still alive and kicking. Nobody really cares.

User videos on MySpaceTV that are not individually made 'private' - but still behind a private profile barrier - are accessible to anyone by fiddling with the URL minimally.

This is identical to the image exploit that was plugged up earlier this year by the Space staff.  Kudos, we guess?  But wouldn't videos be actually worse than images for the lonely mouth breathers to get all hot n bothered over? 

Don't believe me?  Try it yourself.

Step one: Find a private profile.
Step two: Navigate to an accessible videos page for a user who is your friend or who simply has everything out in the public.
Step three: Paste in the friend ID of the person who has their profile set to private.

Even if they don't have any videos posted, you are now partially behind their privacy screen.  If they DO have videos posted, you can view them to your hearts content.

ZOMGPWN! will monitor this one and report on any fixes.  However until a larger site picks this up, we suspect that nothing will change.

No one expects the Bruin Inquisition

Wow.  How freaked out are people these days?  Huh?  *eats a cheeto*

Yeah, we know you've seen the video already.  But Olbermann breaks it down with some good slo-mo and close-up action.  Plus, expert opinioning, courtesy of a Daily Bruin reporter with a black turtleneck and a cool, scholarly attitude toward the whole situation. 

Also we would be remiss if we didn't point out that regardless of the absolutely unsettling circumstances involved here, there's one thing about tazering that just always stays the same... the hilarious noises that never fail to emit copiously from the unfortunate human on the wrong end of the electrodes. 

Blinkx Videowall pwns our souls

Damn the creators of blinkx for sucking every bit of our free time and productivity away with their sweet new video mash-up application the "Video Wall".  DAMN THEM ALL.

Instead of describing it, we'll just show it to you - then go check it out for yourself.

Our 'wallable' search term?  PWN.  Our first choice was Boobies, but our moms read this blog you perverts.  Oh, wait...  that's us.