zomgpwn!

Olby's @ Kos

Franky we're not huge fans of Daily Kos, and it has nothing to do with our political quirks.  It has more to do with their wonky scripting and heavy-ass page loads.  Sometimes we DO like to check who's contributing though since Markos seems to be able to tap into a certain vein of the zeitgeist that we admire to an extent. 

Turns out Keith Olbermann now as a diary page there and is putting it to good use.  We've been fans since the days of watching him deftly block Dan Patrick's errant spittle using nothing but a sheaf of AAA BBall box scores and Kwai Chang Caine-like reflexes.

You can read his thoughts here.

Puppy Vs. Robot! Epic Battle For Territorial Domination!

Oh man.  Screw your HTML 5, Semantic Web and your little blog too!  THIS is why 'THE INTERNET' was inventored.  To bring us vicious, territorial fights ending in complete domination by one side or the other.  Which one will win?  WIll blood be drawn?  Will children run from the room screaming as their parents faint dead away from the shock of it all?   Nah.  It's just a puppy fighting a robot... but holy crap is it awesome.

We've watched it about fifteen times already and we're still ignoring that car alarm going off in the parking lot outside out offices and the annoying stabs of hunger shooting through our guts.  We just gotta watch it ONE more time.

        

Ahhhhh... that's the good stuff.  Bet you don't see THAT on Metacafe.  We love the slums of YouTube.  We feel so at home there.  *sigh*

Oh Gratista, you're so bad!

It's time, once again, to play everybody's favorite intarwebz game - "How long can this site last?"

We just stumbled across Gratista on digg and then suddenely felt really guilty for not signing into our StumbleUpon account in ages.  So we decided distract ourselves by lacing down our Z! homies with some pimped-out late night listening.  If you're headed out, Furl this for laterz.  If you're just getting home please enjoy a fackload of easily accessible |\/|p3 flavor music stylings by your favorite artist(s).

Gratista is simple and to the point, which is why we love it - and also why there's no way it will be around for very long.  Lotta esnips redirecting going on.  Whatevs.  So far we've had about a 90% success rate with the files and it buffers up nice and quickly too.  No spyware.  Just a reasonably small GoogAds banner.  We might even click on it after we finish watching all the damn Anonymous videos on YT.

Throw your fists up if you know what's up.

Conan Made Huckabee; We <3 Hulu

We finally got our invite to Hulu today and any lingering doubts we had about the awesomeness of their delivery, architecture and overall business model were quickly dispatched after wonking about with their controls.  There are several specific features that made us raise an eyebrow and vow to continue brushing up on our RoR knowledge, including a 'dim the lights' feature which grays out all the busyness surrounding your currently streaming vid - and the smooth transitions between popping out, full screening then going back to the original embedded version, with nary a hiccup or restart.  *knocks back a shot of single malt Glenlivet*  Smooooooth man... smoooth.  Not to mention they have quite a solid lineup of content, including NBC, Fox, Bravo, G4, Sundance, plus lots more.

The most fun we've had so far was watching Conan's recent opening monologue/on-air faux battle with Messr. Colbert over who actually MADE Mike Huckabee.  Was it Norris?  Was it Colbert?  Or did Conan actually make ALL of them?  We think you know the answer.

That was followed closely by the fun of picking our own clip, then auto generating the embed code.  YES it was fun.  We swear.  Lookit.

Not only is the embed process seriously intuitive and easy to grasp, even for non-technophilez.. it just works.  The delivered stream looks top notch, the supporting ad is non-annoying and lasts exactly as long as it should, namely a few seconds. 

Who knows where Hulu will end up in the totem pole of 2.0 but they are strong out of the gate and we'll be watching them, and their content closely.  First we're gonna go eat someone else's lunch from the company fridge though.  Anybody need anything while we're up?

Anonymous - 488 | Scientology - 716,949,386,024

We didn't wanna dip out toes in this (cess)pool until we got some reliable statistics on the DDoS ruckus laid down by Xenu and friends.  We finally have it, so let's get this party started.

If you don't know the background, shame on you.  Go read this.

Here's the part we're most interested in though.

Exhibit A:

• Number of attacks measured on scientology.org: 488 in the past week
• Attacks by date: 488 on January 19, 2008
• Maximum PPS rates seen: nearly 20000 pps (packets per second), with an average attack size of 15,000 pps
• Maximum bandwidth seen per attack: 220 Mbps, with an average attack size of 168 Mbps. This is on the high side of an attack, but significantly smaller than the largest ones we commonly see nowadays
• Maximum duration of a single attack: 1.8 hours, which is on the long end of common, but the average attack lasted just under half an hour

Exhibit B:

• Site                      http://www.scientology.org
• Last reboot          28 days ago
• Domain                scientology.org
• IP address           72.52.6.28
• Netblock owner   Prolexic Technologies, Inc.  <====!!!

Well then.  Nicely played, LRH.

Translation?  Anonymous actually DID hit Scientology's Apache Linux box pretty hard a week ago.  Then the organization (we're treading lightly here) did probably the smartest thing it could have.  It signed up Prolexic to substitute one of their servers and filter down the flood to a trickle.

Now of COURSE we realize that this wasn't the ONLY denial of service dropped on Scientramopolay.  (look in your heart, hackinatorz... look in your heart!) We just wonder if it was the biggest, or what else is coming.  It's fun to see Digg gamed the right way for a change and even though we've watched and re-watched the original Anonymous YT vid enough that we now don motorcycle helmets in our meetings and only communicate with each other via text to speech tools, it has us all a twitter with what could pownceably be next from our new favorite bunch of waxxorz haxxorz.   Even lolcats are in on this one.

Our vote is that Anonymous should start their own church and possibly even take over TMZ's slot on your local Fox affiliate.  They are sooo much more entertaining than Harvey Levin, and Harvey is no slouch.  Well.. OK he's a slouch.  We still think he's pretty awesome.

Also we'd just like to point out that we value the notion of free expression in the good old U. S. of A.  People should always worship who they want to worship, or not.  Not only is the line between legality vs. illegality ONLINE a slightly blurry one, it must be taken into account that Chanologists are OPENLY declaring war.  You know what they say about that and Lllllllllove.  (puke)  While the m$m and a lot of smaller 'news' outlets are chuckling to themselves about what the 'kids' are doing on the intertubes, remember... you have been warned.

We can't endorse either side, mainly due to our lack of a solid legal team.  However we DID see an episode of Matlock in a bar last night. The sound was turned down but we're pretty sure we got the gist of it.

Qaeda don't Skype

OK, so it's a slow day.  We've started, then abandoned posts on the following topics.

Faux News Channel manages to out-stupid itself; gets smacked silly by Keighly.

HTML 5 finally here... almost.

Artificial life is real.  Wait, what?!

AT&T preps "Ministry Of Truth", readies 'thoughtcrimes' filtering online.

Then we saw THIS nugget and we couldn't resist.  al Qaeda's #2 crocktard A-a-Z is taking questions on the freaking intarwebz!  WTH?!  OK, ok... so far the questions have just been submitted but isn't that kind of ballsy, even for these guys?  It gives us a slightly queasy feeling to know that they are comfortable enough to even think about casually chewing the non-pork fat with their peeps.

Actually it almost seems innocuous, until you start to read the questions that have been submitted.  Even allowing for cultural differences, we're just a little bit unnerved - and it's not even because we're on our third cup of coffee.

The only plus we can see in this whole weird development is that there DOES seem to be a considerable LACK of communication between AQ's devotees and the official power structure.  Most of the questions we've seen are so varied and so broad in nature that it gives a picture of disarray, if not downright confusion.  Good enough for us.  As freaky as it is to see someone demanding that the jihad be spread into Egypt and Palestine immediately, it would be a lot freakier if homeboy Ayman actually started responding.

So, we'll just pretend that it's a big, early April Fool's joke for now and laugh nervously while we try not to click on any links that will get us tossed into the 'persons of interest' file we've heard so much about.

All we can say is, we reallly hope this guy jumps onto Skype or some VoIP service so an AC-130 can cruise by to weigh in on the discussion.  C'mon, fignuts!  Pick up the webcam and let's do this thing.

International Federation of Peurile Imbeciles

Oh good LORD!  We were in the middle of whipping up an uninspired wrap-up of what's not really happening today and then we saw the coverage of the new IFPI report just out.  This is really... getting stupid.

Where oh where to begin?

The first lie we'd like to disassemble is the one that goes like this...

"...the spread of unlicensed music on ISP networks is choking revenues to record companies and investment in artists"

"ISP cooperation, via systematic disconnection of infringers and the use of filtering technologies, is the most effective way copyright theft can be controlled."

Ohhh rrreaallly?  Well explain this then.  University networks have, for all intents and purposes, been dammed against most p2p and distributed file sharing systems, including not just blocking them outright but also choking off the associated traffic to a trickle.  Yet.... music sales overall continue to decline.  So do box office numbers..  and WHAT was that percentage of dirty file swappers responsible for the Film Industry's spectacular profit dive, MPAA?  Mmm hmmmm....  If the MPAA is 29% full of crap then the IFPI just lapped them.

It's the SAME lie again and again.  The reason music sales are declining has very little to do with what's deemed 'illegal' file trading and much, MUCH more to do with the music companies' inability to find, nurture, develop, market, promote and SELL artists to the public.  It's been this way for a long, long time friends.  If these companies and their A&R teams had the slightest clue what they were doing, then why do they still engage in heavy duty payola to get their 'artists' exposure on radio and music television?

The tragic fact is that the old school machine designed to pump mediocre pablum down consumers' throats can not operate in the same way it used to, which means people are now increasingly more aware of their own freedom to think for themselves.  An entire generation of music fans who have grown up unrestrained by the influence of B.S. like "Playlist Consultants", "Pay per spin" and homogenized broadcast conglomerates mainlining what gets put into peoples' ears is upon us and THEY control what they consume more than any generation since SoundScan first revealed to us that Paula Abdul wasn't actually the #1 record of 1991, it was N.W.A.

Even though that was an exhilarating moment for Hip-Hop and really, music in general, it was a brief window into the actual music buying habits of the general public.... a window that had to be slammed hard and quickly.  We won't go into the whole wretched and ugly neutering of SoundScan but it IS helpful to look at how the Industry of Music set about muzzling and controlling the data compiled via Billboard to make sure they could again shape the top ten to their own will and needs, as they saw fit.  If you don't think that the top slots are essentially bought and paid for the same way Gamespot reviews are, you're just fooling yourself.   The #1 release in the country is RARELY the one that sold the most copies in the previous week.  Algorithms matter more than sales.

It's exactly what's happening now, with two big differences.   1. It's not just a horse that got out of the barn this time, it's a stampede of wild broncos who've never even SEEN a saddle.  2. There's nothing that can be reigned in or controlled, except public opinion - which is what's under attack here.

Flat out, you are being openly lied to when you read that the cause of declining music sales is p2p or file trading.  It's the overall declining quality in the music choices being offered up.  Just look at the previous example of Hip-Hop.  It, like most other genres are dead in the water, artistically and commercially.  The best, most thoughtful and scarily talented Rappers, Graffiti Artists, B-Boys and DJs have no real exposure because they exist outside of the crumbling machine of promotion still utilized by the major label/distribution system.  The same way old, white America (sorry to generalize but it's just true) was scared shitless every time they even SAW the words "Fuck The Police", they are scared shitless now when they hear "Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects, it was YOUR Nigga.. tell the truth, nigga."

ZOMGPWN! is not advocating any political stance here, (We're as sick of Loose Change as you are.) just making the overall point that there is a driving NEED on the part of the Industrialized Music Machine to CONTROL what and how you are exposed to new artists, songs and IDEAS for that matter.  So much so that they will willfully attempt to shape public opinion by making claims that are patently false.

Here is one of our favorites from the IFPI report.

"Research by IFPI debunks a myth about illegal P2P services: in fact, fans get better choice on legal sites. IFPI conducted research with a sample of 70 acts on the legal site iTunes and on the copyright infringing service Limewire. In 95 per cent of searches the artists requested had more songs available on iTunes than on the leading P2P service."

Ah, gee thanks.  Now let us debunk your debunking.  You compared LIMEWIRE to iTunes, then you make the claim that 'fans get better choice on legal sites'?!  PAY CLOSE ATTENTION HERE.  We don't even think that most of the people who were involved in putting this disinformation out are even on the ball enough to realize they are passing along bullshit... but this is some grade A pooporzz right here, buddies.

Let's just take it slowly...   beyond the fact that Limewire sucks ass, let's consider the fact that it's ONE Java client sitting on top of GNU and doesn't rock SHA-1.  Were you using the free version IFPI or PRO?  Just curious since you don't seem to know what the frack you're talking about in general.

This kind of thing wouldn't be so bad if media outlets and news organizations didn't pick it up and report is as fact without digesting the info before shatting it out on the largely uninformed and well meaning, yet STILL kowtowing public.

ZOMGPWN! would like to state unequivocally that restaurant goers always get better and move varied choices at Sushi Restaurants when compared to Steakhouses.  Don't argue with us.  We did a study.  :|

See, not only do some people prefer one cuisine over the other mightily, when you break it down to individual locations you'll see that some Sushi places really suck and some Steakhouses rock.  Some Steakhouses will give you salmonella.. and the occassional Sushi place can put you on culinary cloud nine.  They're all different.  You can use the same anti-logic to shade any opinion you wish to, as long as the people who you're talking to are uninformed, distracted or uninvoled enough to believe you.

Let's compare ANts to Rhapsody, Stealthnet to Napster... .and just for the hell of it.. Pirate Bay to Connect. I believe their selection should match up on a 1:1 ratio on any given day. 

In other words it's YOUR CHOICE.  If you love iTunes then rock on, peoples.  Get your music the way you want.  But never, ever believe a press release from the RIAA, MPAA, IFPI or any other organization with a vested interest in you taking the blue pill.  We merely urge you to THINK FOR YOURSELF.

According to other bullet points in the IFPI report, at least some people are doing just that.

There are more than 500 legitimate digital music services worldwide, offering over 6 million tracks – over four times the stock of a music megastore.

The growth rate of around 40% in digital sales did not offset the sharp fall in CD sales globally, meaning that the overall market for the year will be down on 2006.

So again... how can the argument be made that the overall decline in music sales is due mainly to 'illegal file sharing' when according to the SAME report, choice at  'legal' services far outstrips that of evil p2ps, and digital music sales GREW by 40% year over year?  It makes no sense.  If anything both should be on the incline.  If one grows, so does the other.  It is NOT inversely proportional.  To say it is simply reveals what amounts to a sophomoric attitude towards, and knowledge of the digital music space... at best.  At worst it reveals a deliberate campaign of distortion and veiled threats against the very people who stopped going to Tower and Virgin years ago due to the wave of total crap they saw being marketed ad nauseam.

The machine wants to keep feeding you crap despite your preference for medium rare T-bone and/or avocado spring roll.  (Damn, it's past our lunch time!)  Fling it back in their faces and eat what you want.

J.J. Abrams is the new Kid DYN-O-MITE. (Yeah, we said it!)

We keep trying to hate J.J. Abrams and we keep failing miserably.  Anybody who floats along so steadfastly through the flotsam & jetsam of network television and big budget film marketing automatically inspires both awe and ire in us.  We can't help but respect someone who breaks through the celluloid ceiling with such aplomb. But still... why haven't Fox Searchlight or Screen Gems optioned our screenplays for 'Repo Man II: Otto Gets Blotto' or  'Escape From Waukegan: Snake On A Lake'??  Huh?  When does Gil get a lick? *is bitter*

Regardless, one of the things that Abrams' seems to have a thankfully iron grip on is the viral marketing for his projects, and again... in a sea of mediocrity his team always manages to at LEAST get their chins above the water.

Just the simple yet important details like what URL to register can signal to potential participants in a viral campaign whether they should or shouldn't bother.  Being able to secure the domain ncc-1701.com for the upcoming Star Trek film is a minor stroke of near genius.  It's instantly recognizable by the existing fan base, yet retains an air of mystery for even those who aren't mad Trek dorks.

Additionally, the site itself functions intuitively but doesn't make things TOO easy to figure out right away. To start off, try adjusting all the sliders to 100%.  Even the flash UI is fun to fiddle around with, so you never feel like you're not 'getting' something or missing a trick. 

The balance between achieving some sort of real retention of your marketing message and not beating people over the head with 'It's a viralz dude!!  Pass it on!!" is a delicate one.  Even though we're really not fans of the Star Trek properties, this should be a fun one to watch.

Our lonely days are over, and life is like a song...

Is it the extra swig of `tussin we just gulped down with our espresso shot that has us feeling so floaty and hopeful?  Possibly.  We're also slightly encouraged by the finally announced developments in the percolating CBS/last.fm team up.

We feel compelled to point out though, that the labels still don't get it.  They're being led by the nose at this point and just trying to hold on to some shred of their former glory by insisting on silly limitations that make no sense in the context of the deals they are entering into.  At least, not for anyone who doesn't work inside the belly of the beastie.

Here's the OK news.  You will soon be able to listen to each FULL track at last.fm instead of the useless 30 second clips that everybody loves to hate.  You'll be exposed to an ad for this privilege... hey, no problem.  We've gotten to be experts at blocking out ad placements like everyone else.

Here's the stupid news.  The labels are demanding that you only get three plays of the full track.  OK.  Like we said, this must sound really great when you weasels are yammering on and enjoying the sound of your own voices in conference rooms.  We know your bosses sit there and nod their heads approvingly as if you've somehow staked a claim for your industry, protecting your ass(ets) and really played hardball with those content plunderers that keep you up at night.  Bullshite.  That limitation will be removed shortly because it's arbitrary and makes no sense.  Either you give music fans the chance to experience your content so they can decide if they want to buy it or you don't.  It's the legacy you created for yourself by litigating against your own consumer base and keeping your heads stuck in the sand for so long.

BUT, here's the really good news... and why we're listening to Etta James while we eat lunch.

Last.fm is launching an unprecedented "Artist Royalty" arrangement, whereby those artists not signed with a label who choose to upload their music to Last.fm will receive payment, directly from Last.fm, every time one of their tracks is played. This means artists without traditional recording or publishing deals will be able to reach millions of music fans, offer their music for free, while generating revenue.

Leaving aside that's it's not 'unprecedented', it's still cool enough to almost offset the three song limitation.   How will this affect some of the other ad supported models that are sputtering along, like imeem?   We're anxious to find out.

Even though ZOMGPWN! hasn't been the biggest supporter of last.fm, we've always quietly rooted for it even after it got subsumed by CBS.  It just gives off that punk rock ethos that makes us dare to dream that there's a better future out there for music fans.  Probably not, but hey... don't harsh our `tussin buzz, man.

Weekend at Glickman's

Normally we don't jump on stories that have already achieved interdork levels of ubiquity but when the lion's share of outlets miss the real uptake on one, we feel compelled to voice our own irrelevant opinions on the matter so we can all read them back to each other and nod seriously while we go "Mmm hmmm... you are totally right about that, man.  I'm gonna ping Technorati right now."

So, OK!  Either the MPAA couldn't pass a pre-Algebra class or they have been deliberately inflating the percentage of their content being passed around CollegeNets.  Whatevs, homey!  Like we didn't know that crap already.  Now M$M is ROFL and having a good old time reporting this as if they are somehow not part of the problem. 

But dig this. (Actually if you could Twitter it or something that might be better.)  Whether this was actually 'human error' or deliberate obfuscation on the part of the MPAA matters little now.  If they can be THIS wrong about THIS statistic then WHAT THE HELL ELSE ARE THEY 29% WRONG ABOUT?  Ummm... wdk..  EVERYTHING?  When you're talking 'billions' of $ then 29% matters, a lot.

Also there seems to be a curious lack of interest or care on the part of the blogiverse regarding the inverse conclusion to be drawn here.  Where is that missing % actually coming from?  Broadband growth might be slowing a tad on the global scale, but only because it was blowing doors for a couple of years.  Plus, guess which market bucks the overall trend and just keeps on booming.  Thaaat's right, noodlenose.  The good old North American one.  *brushes own shoulder off*  Yanks + Canucks + Fat Pipes = <3.

Additionally, the concept that it's only or mostly students utilizing p2p is antiquated.  Especially when you look at the issue in 'internet time.'  Of COURSE it's still present on most campuses, but the massive smackdown that most network managers/administrators have been engaged in for quite sometime, combined with the uptick in malware attacks means that a significant portion of the student population has found other ways to share what they want to share.  (Our lips are sealed.)  While the MPAA and RIAA have been busily sighting up this relatively easy target, everyone who ISN'T rocking an .edu address has been busily and increasingly enjoying their content for free.

So while it feels good to point the finger at the MPAA and laugh at their, now exposed and naked, ridiculous claims.  Let's all take a moment to point the finger up our own silly asses and regroup here.

The RIAA is lying to you.  Music labels and distribution companies are lying to you.  Game publishers/sites, media conglomerates and 'news' outlets... all tell you that they're wearing protection.  But trust your own instincts.  They actually blew right by the drug store on their way over without even slowing down.  The simple reason is they CAN'T WAIT TO SCREW YOU and they don't care what they have to say or do to get your face in the pillow.  Their very real attitude is 'bend over, shut up and take it.'

When any massive corporation begins to sue individual users of its content, regardless of the details involved, that means one thing and one thing only.  The global chief of that corporation just realized that he can't buy the private island he wanted to give to his mistress for her birthday, so he had to settle for buying her a yacht instead.  Think we're exaggerating?  That's OK.  It IS hard to imagine it, even for us sometimes.  But we've seen it with our own eyes, and it is NOT pretty.

The issues of 'piracy' and or 'illegal content' should be decided by each individual based on their own moral compass, not the supposedly shrinking coffers of Interglobal Recordz & Moviefilms Inc.

We realize there's a large segment of the consumer population out there that would take this as an extreme or borderline conspiratorial statement.  Hey... whaddaya gonna do?  It's analogous to that friend you had at one time who was dating someone that was ssoooo wrong for them.  You know... the kind that's not even subjective.  Like when your friend was banging that 62 year old Philosophy prof. for a better grade, and he got inside her head and convinced her she was in love with him?  You couldn't change her mind with a sledgehammer so you just had to let her figure it out for herself.  Then she showed up at your place in the middle of the night sobbing about how he pushed her out of his car in front of Food Lion and sped away without saying a word.  It's like that.  Exactly.

She wasn't stupid. She just bought into an attractive lie so she could pretend she was 'making love' instead of getting used like plastic or paper ma'am.

It's time to force that old prick into retirement, or at LEAST get some incriminating shots of him while he's drunk at a frat party and post them on Facebook.

The next time you see some 'report' put out by the RIAA, assume it's a lie.... because it is.  The old business models are dead.  They have been for quite some time.  We're living through their echo... the sounds of their death throes are still bouncing around the canyon walls but the corpse is already stinking.  If the MPAA and RIAA want to slap sunglasses on it and drag it around to try and collect its Social Security checks for a little while longer then that's what they're gonna do.

Just don't let them get into your head with threats and/or false information.   Remember that YOU have the choice to pay for what you feel has value and to NOT pay for what you feel doesn't.   Support new business models, especially the ones who favor cutting out the traditional middle man tier and instead increase the profit share for the people who are creating the art.

Society will be rewarded when it nurtures talent and genuine prolificacy over executive salaries and profit margins.  We love making money and the free market economy as much as the next schmo with a rent payment due.  What we don't love is a manipulated and pre-formed assembly line system of 'approved entertainment'.  You don't need someone to tell you what music, movies or tv shows are 'good' or 'bad'.  You can and should decide that on your own.