Satellite of doom. Falling to an Earth near you!

Whenever we see 'officials' speaking on 'condition of anonymity' it always makes us a little nervous.  Such is the case with a report today that another satellite has gone 'out of control' and will come crashing back down to Earth soon.  (Stupid, stuck up satellites!  Always looking down their telemetry subsystems at us!!)

It's times like these that make us glad the surface of the Earth is approx. 70% liquid.  Still... since there's no way to control this sucker, there IS a chance it could land somewhere very undesirable.  Like.. on US for instance.

Immediate requests by the AP and Jerry Bruckheimer to "shoot a nuke at it!" were waived off brusquely by NSC spokesman Gordon Johndroe with the statement - "We are looking at potential options to mitigate any possible damage this satellite may cause."  Hey, thanks Gordon!  Maybe you could send up the Nostromo from Alien to nudge it over towards the Indian Ocean or the Persian Gulf.. or...   ah, hell they really SHOULD just shoot a nuke at it.  We all know that would stimulate the economy AND look totally awesome.  Kind of like blowing your whole tax rebate at Scores in an hour.