zomgpwn!

Qtrax is down! Qtrax is down!!

OK, so we've been there too.  We feel your pain guys and girls but... shouldn't you have been ready for this?  You've been prepping launch for quite a while now, and even though the m$m can't seem to figure out exactly what the hell you are (namely, an ad supported, client dl required, walled-in, last resort for the music industry to fight against open and free distribued p2p networks), at least you're getting an assload of press.

Funny how every single blog and site we see is simply reporting how great and revolutionary this will be, yet they haven't clicked your linkey lately or they would be reporting this same story.  Too bad nobody reads us but us.  Eh, we're pretty much over the funnay at this point anyway.

We're gonna go listen to Gratista and watch WKRP on Hulu while we eat Qtrax's lunch.

Oh Gratista, you're so bad!

It's time, once again, to play everybody's favorite intarwebz game - "How long can this site last?"

We just stumbled across Gratista on digg and then suddenely felt really guilty for not signing into our StumbleUpon account in ages.  So we decided distract ourselves by lacing down our Z! homies with some pimped-out late night listening.  If you're headed out, Furl this for laterz.  If you're just getting home please enjoy a fackload of easily accessible |\/|p3 flavor music stylings by your favorite artist(s).

Gratista is simple and to the point, which is why we love it - and also why there's no way it will be around for very long.  Lotta esnips redirecting going on.  Whatevs.  So far we've had about a 90% success rate with the files and it buffers up nice and quickly too.  No spyware.  Just a reasonably small GoogAds banner.  We might even click on it after we finish watching all the damn Anonymous videos on YT.

Throw your fists up if you know what's up.

The lunatic is on the grass!

Puff. Puff....  pass.   Oh my Goldenvoice.  You have dared to piss of the 'indie' brood on the interwhines and boy have they whined up a storm.  Fackin' punks.

Sure Coachella has had its ups and downs but they've almost always managed at least two quality headliners, regardless of your musical taste.  Meaning... even if you weren't a fan of a certain band you could understand why they landed the closing slot.  This year's lineup is a great example of just that.

You may or may not enjoy the musical stylings of Portishead or Jack Johnson but there's no denying that Roger Waters performing Dark Side Of The Moon in its entirety is a nice, nice get for G.V.   Just the fact that most of the coverage we've seen so far focuses on who's NOT playing rather than the truly remarkable lineup assembled speaks well for the diversity of acts involved.

When you first look at the list, it's easy to miss some of the details but how could you possibly get more 'indie' in the traditional sense than having Dwight Yoakam,  Turbonegro, Junkie XL and Cafe Tacuba perform inside the same three mile radius on the same night?  You can't, that's how.  Same thing goes for Sunday, with Gogol Bordello, Linton Kwesi Johnson, Dimitri From Paris and Spiritualized all present and accounted for.  (Well, let's not count our Spiritualized performances before they're hatched, maybe..)  Even the first night sees The Verve, Breeders, Aesop Rock and Fatboy Slim sharing air.  (Too bad Air isn't playing this year.)   So really, who CARES if Jack Johnson is the closer. You can get the hell out of there two hours earlier, and back to your hotel room/campsite that much sooner to finish sewing that awesome Datarock patch you found in the trash onto your sufficiently vintage track jacket.  Score, you dork!

Seriously though... anyone complaining about the Coachella lineup is probably a little spoiled, or they just like to complain about stuff.  You can't have a Pixies re-up EVERY year or it will lose its specialness, special one.  Besides, B.F. will probably be wandering around the crowd during The Breeders' set.  If we see him we're going to stop him and say "Hey! When we grew up we actually BECAME debasers!  Cool huh?!"  Hurrrrr!

Press Release at coachella.com here.

FULL 2008 LINE UP:

FRIDAY, APRIL 25: Jack Johnson, The Verve, The Raconteurs, The Breeders, Fatboy Slim, Tegan and Sara, Madness, The Swell Season, The National, Slightly Stoopid, Mum, Pendulum, Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings, Stars, Battles, Aesop Rock, Les Savy Fav, Midnight Juggernauts, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Minus the Bear, Spank Rock, dan le sac Vs Scroobius Pip, Diplo, Adam Freeland, Santogold, Jens Lekman, John Butler Trio, Vampire Weekend, Dan Deacon, Architecture in Helsinki, Sandra Collins, Busy P, Cut Copy, Black Lips, Datarock, Professor Murder, Reverend and the Makers, The Bees, Porter, Rogue Wave, Modeselektor, American Bang, Luckyiam.

SATURDAY, APRIL 26: Portishead, Kraftwerk, Death Cab for Cutie, Cafe Tacuba, Sasha & John Digweed, Rilo Kiley, Dwight Yoakam, M.I.A., Hot Chip, Cold War Kids, Animal Collective, Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, DeVotchKa, Flogging Molly, Mark Ronson, Turbonegro, Scars on Broadway, Islands, Enter Shikari, Calvin Harris, Boys Noize, Junkie XL, Cinematic Orchestra, Jamie T, The Teenagers, VHS or Beta, Carbon/Silicon, Erol Alkan, Yo! Majesty, Little Brother, Bonde Do Role, St. Vincent, Akron/Family, MGMT, Institubes Paris Terror Club - Surkin, Para One and Orgasmic, James Zabiela, SebastiAn, Kavinsky, Dredg, The Bird and the Bee, Grand Ole Party, Man Man, New Young Pony Club, 120 Days, Yoav, Electric Touch, Yelle, Uffie.

SUNDAY, APRIL 27: Roger Waters (“Dark Side of the Moon”), Love And Rockets, My Morning Jacket, Spiritualized, Justice, Gogol Bordello, Chromeo, The Streets, Metric, Danny Tenaglia, Simian Mobile Disco, Booka Shade, Murs, Dimitri From Paris, Autolux, The Field, Linton Kwesi Johnson, The Cool Kids, Sons & Daughters, Sia, Holy Fuck, Black Kids, Black Mountain, Annuals, Kid Sister w/A-Trak, Duffy, I'm from Barcelona, Manchester Orchestra, Deadmau5, The Horrors, AUSTIN TV, Shout Out Louds, Plastiscines, Brett Dennen.

International Federation of Peurile Imbeciles

Oh good LORD!  We were in the middle of whipping up an uninspired wrap-up of what's not really happening today and then we saw the coverage of the new IFPI report just out.  This is really... getting stupid.

Where oh where to begin?

The first lie we'd like to disassemble is the one that goes like this...

"...the spread of unlicensed music on ISP networks is choking revenues to record companies and investment in artists"

"ISP cooperation, via systematic disconnection of infringers and the use of filtering technologies, is the most effective way copyright theft can be controlled."

Ohhh rrreaallly?  Well explain this then.  University networks have, for all intents and purposes, been dammed against most p2p and distributed file sharing systems, including not just blocking them outright but also choking off the associated traffic to a trickle.  Yet.... music sales overall continue to decline.  So do box office numbers..  and WHAT was that percentage of dirty file swappers responsible for the Film Industry's spectacular profit dive, MPAA?  Mmm hmmmm....  If the MPAA is 29% full of crap then the IFPI just lapped them.

It's the SAME lie again and again.  The reason music sales are declining has very little to do with what's deemed 'illegal' file trading and much, MUCH more to do with the music companies' inability to find, nurture, develop, market, promote and SELL artists to the public.  It's been this way for a long, long time friends.  If these companies and their A&R teams had the slightest clue what they were doing, then why do they still engage in heavy duty payola to get their 'artists' exposure on radio and music television?

The tragic fact is that the old school machine designed to pump mediocre pablum down consumers' throats can not operate in the same way it used to, which means people are now increasingly more aware of their own freedom to think for themselves.  An entire generation of music fans who have grown up unrestrained by the influence of B.S. like "Playlist Consultants", "Pay per spin" and homogenized broadcast conglomerates mainlining what gets put into peoples' ears is upon us and THEY control what they consume more than any generation since SoundScan first revealed to us that Paula Abdul wasn't actually the #1 record of 1991, it was N.W.A.

Even though that was an exhilarating moment for Hip-Hop and really, music in general, it was a brief window into the actual music buying habits of the general public.... a window that had to be slammed hard and quickly.  We won't go into the whole wretched and ugly neutering of SoundScan but it IS helpful to look at how the Industry of Music set about muzzling and controlling the data compiled via Billboard to make sure they could again shape the top ten to their own will and needs, as they saw fit.  If you don't think that the top slots are essentially bought and paid for the same way Gamespot reviews are, you're just fooling yourself.   The #1 release in the country is RARELY the one that sold the most copies in the previous week.  Algorithms matter more than sales.

It's exactly what's happening now, with two big differences.   1. It's not just a horse that got out of the barn this time, it's a stampede of wild broncos who've never even SEEN a saddle.  2. There's nothing that can be reigned in or controlled, except public opinion - which is what's under attack here.

Flat out, you are being openly lied to when you read that the cause of declining music sales is p2p or file trading.  It's the overall declining quality in the music choices being offered up.  Just look at the previous example of Hip-Hop.  It, like most other genres are dead in the water, artistically and commercially.  The best, most thoughtful and scarily talented Rappers, Graffiti Artists, B-Boys and DJs have no real exposure because they exist outside of the crumbling machine of promotion still utilized by the major label/distribution system.  The same way old, white America (sorry to generalize but it's just true) was scared shitless every time they even SAW the words "Fuck The Police", they are scared shitless now when they hear "Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects, it was YOUR Nigga.. tell the truth, nigga."

ZOMGPWN! is not advocating any political stance here, (We're as sick of Loose Change as you are.) just making the overall point that there is a driving NEED on the part of the Industrialized Music Machine to CONTROL what and how you are exposed to new artists, songs and IDEAS for that matter.  So much so that they will willfully attempt to shape public opinion by making claims that are patently false.

Here is one of our favorites from the IFPI report.

"Research by IFPI debunks a myth about illegal P2P services: in fact, fans get better choice on legal sites. IFPI conducted research with a sample of 70 acts on the legal site iTunes and on the copyright infringing service Limewire. In 95 per cent of searches the artists requested had more songs available on iTunes than on the leading P2P service."

Ah, gee thanks.  Now let us debunk your debunking.  You compared LIMEWIRE to iTunes, then you make the claim that 'fans get better choice on legal sites'?!  PAY CLOSE ATTENTION HERE.  We don't even think that most of the people who were involved in putting this disinformation out are even on the ball enough to realize they are passing along bullshit... but this is some grade A pooporzz right here, buddies.

Let's just take it slowly...   beyond the fact that Limewire sucks ass, let's consider the fact that it's ONE Java client sitting on top of GNU and doesn't rock SHA-1.  Were you using the free version IFPI or PRO?  Just curious since you don't seem to know what the frack you're talking about in general.

This kind of thing wouldn't be so bad if media outlets and news organizations didn't pick it up and report is as fact without digesting the info before shatting it out on the largely uninformed and well meaning, yet STILL kowtowing public.

ZOMGPWN! would like to state unequivocally that restaurant goers always get better and move varied choices at Sushi Restaurants when compared to Steakhouses.  Don't argue with us.  We did a study.  :|

See, not only do some people prefer one cuisine over the other mightily, when you break it down to individual locations you'll see that some Sushi places really suck and some Steakhouses rock.  Some Steakhouses will give you salmonella.. and the occassional Sushi place can put you on culinary cloud nine.  They're all different.  You can use the same anti-logic to shade any opinion you wish to, as long as the people who you're talking to are uninformed, distracted or uninvoled enough to believe you.

Let's compare ANts to Rhapsody, Stealthnet to Napster... .and just for the hell of it.. Pirate Bay to Connect. I believe their selection should match up on a 1:1 ratio on any given day. 

In other words it's YOUR CHOICE.  If you love iTunes then rock on, peoples.  Get your music the way you want.  But never, ever believe a press release from the RIAA, MPAA, IFPI or any other organization with a vested interest in you taking the blue pill.  We merely urge you to THINK FOR YOURSELF.

According to other bullet points in the IFPI report, at least some people are doing just that.

There are more than 500 legitimate digital music services worldwide, offering over 6 million tracks – over four times the stock of a music megastore.

The growth rate of around 40% in digital sales did not offset the sharp fall in CD sales globally, meaning that the overall market for the year will be down on 2006.

So again... how can the argument be made that the overall decline in music sales is due mainly to 'illegal file sharing' when according to the SAME report, choice at  'legal' services far outstrips that of evil p2ps, and digital music sales GREW by 40% year over year?  It makes no sense.  If anything both should be on the incline.  If one grows, so does the other.  It is NOT inversely proportional.  To say it is simply reveals what amounts to a sophomoric attitude towards, and knowledge of the digital music space... at best.  At worst it reveals a deliberate campaign of distortion and veiled threats against the very people who stopped going to Tower and Virgin years ago due to the wave of total crap they saw being marketed ad nauseam.

The machine wants to keep feeding you crap despite your preference for medium rare T-bone and/or avocado spring roll.  (Damn, it's past our lunch time!)  Fling it back in their faces and eat what you want.

Our lonely days are over, and life is like a song...

Is it the extra swig of `tussin we just gulped down with our espresso shot that has us feeling so floaty and hopeful?  Possibly.  We're also slightly encouraged by the finally announced developments in the percolating CBS/last.fm team up.

We feel compelled to point out though, that the labels still don't get it.  They're being led by the nose at this point and just trying to hold on to some shred of their former glory by insisting on silly limitations that make no sense in the context of the deals they are entering into.  At least, not for anyone who doesn't work inside the belly of the beastie.

Here's the OK news.  You will soon be able to listen to each FULL track at last.fm instead of the useless 30 second clips that everybody loves to hate.  You'll be exposed to an ad for this privilege... hey, no problem.  We've gotten to be experts at blocking out ad placements like everyone else.

Here's the stupid news.  The labels are demanding that you only get three plays of the full track.  OK.  Like we said, this must sound really great when you weasels are yammering on and enjoying the sound of your own voices in conference rooms.  We know your bosses sit there and nod their heads approvingly as if you've somehow staked a claim for your industry, protecting your ass(ets) and really played hardball with those content plunderers that keep you up at night.  Bullshite.  That limitation will be removed shortly because it's arbitrary and makes no sense.  Either you give music fans the chance to experience your content so they can decide if they want to buy it or you don't.  It's the legacy you created for yourself by litigating against your own consumer base and keeping your heads stuck in the sand for so long.

BUT, here's the really good news... and why we're listening to Etta James while we eat lunch.

Last.fm is launching an unprecedented "Artist Royalty" arrangement, whereby those artists not signed with a label who choose to upload their music to Last.fm will receive payment, directly from Last.fm, every time one of their tracks is played. This means artists without traditional recording or publishing deals will be able to reach millions of music fans, offer their music for free, while generating revenue.

Leaving aside that's it's not 'unprecedented', it's still cool enough to almost offset the three song limitation.   How will this affect some of the other ad supported models that are sputtering along, like imeem?   We're anxious to find out.

Even though ZOMGPWN! hasn't been the biggest supporter of last.fm, we've always quietly rooted for it even after it got subsumed by CBS.  It just gives off that punk rock ethos that makes us dare to dream that there's a better future out there for music fans.  Probably not, but hey... don't harsh our `tussin buzz, man.

Weekend at Glickman's

Normally we don't jump on stories that have already achieved interdork levels of ubiquity but when the lion's share of outlets miss the real uptake on one, we feel compelled to voice our own irrelevant opinions on the matter so we can all read them back to each other and nod seriously while we go "Mmm hmmm... you are totally right about that, man.  I'm gonna ping Technorati right now."

So, OK!  Either the MPAA couldn't pass a pre-Algebra class or they have been deliberately inflating the percentage of their content being passed around CollegeNets.  Whatevs, homey!  Like we didn't know that crap already.  Now M$M is ROFL and having a good old time reporting this as if they are somehow not part of the problem. 

But dig this. (Actually if you could Twitter it or something that might be better.)  Whether this was actually 'human error' or deliberate obfuscation on the part of the MPAA matters little now.  If they can be THIS wrong about THIS statistic then WHAT THE HELL ELSE ARE THEY 29% WRONG ABOUT?  Ummm... wdk..  EVERYTHING?  When you're talking 'billions' of $ then 29% matters, a lot.

Also there seems to be a curious lack of interest or care on the part of the blogiverse regarding the inverse conclusion to be drawn here.  Where is that missing % actually coming from?  Broadband growth might be slowing a tad on the global scale, but only because it was blowing doors for a couple of years.  Plus, guess which market bucks the overall trend and just keeps on booming.  Thaaat's right, noodlenose.  The good old North American one.  *brushes own shoulder off*  Yanks + Canucks + Fat Pipes = <3.

Additionally, the concept that it's only or mostly students utilizing p2p is antiquated.  Especially when you look at the issue in 'internet time.'  Of COURSE it's still present on most campuses, but the massive smackdown that most network managers/administrators have been engaged in for quite sometime, combined with the uptick in malware attacks means that a significant portion of the student population has found other ways to share what they want to share.  (Our lips are sealed.)  While the MPAA and RIAA have been busily sighting up this relatively easy target, everyone who ISN'T rocking an .edu address has been busily and increasingly enjoying their content for free.

So while it feels good to point the finger at the MPAA and laugh at their, now exposed and naked, ridiculous claims.  Let's all take a moment to point the finger up our own silly asses and regroup here.

The RIAA is lying to you.  Music labels and distribution companies are lying to you.  Game publishers/sites, media conglomerates and 'news' outlets... all tell you that they're wearing protection.  But trust your own instincts.  They actually blew right by the drug store on their way over without even slowing down.  The simple reason is they CAN'T WAIT TO SCREW YOU and they don't care what they have to say or do to get your face in the pillow.  Their very real attitude is 'bend over, shut up and take it.'

When any massive corporation begins to sue individual users of its content, regardless of the details involved, that means one thing and one thing only.  The global chief of that corporation just realized that he can't buy the private island he wanted to give to his mistress for her birthday, so he had to settle for buying her a yacht instead.  Think we're exaggerating?  That's OK.  It IS hard to imagine it, even for us sometimes.  But we've seen it with our own eyes, and it is NOT pretty.

The issues of 'piracy' and or 'illegal content' should be decided by each individual based on their own moral compass, not the supposedly shrinking coffers of Interglobal Recordz & Moviefilms Inc.

We realize there's a large segment of the consumer population out there that would take this as an extreme or borderline conspiratorial statement.  Hey... whaddaya gonna do?  It's analogous to that friend you had at one time who was dating someone that was ssoooo wrong for them.  You know... the kind that's not even subjective.  Like when your friend was banging that 62 year old Philosophy prof. for a better grade, and he got inside her head and convinced her she was in love with him?  You couldn't change her mind with a sledgehammer so you just had to let her figure it out for herself.  Then she showed up at your place in the middle of the night sobbing about how he pushed her out of his car in front of Food Lion and sped away without saying a word.  It's like that.  Exactly.

She wasn't stupid. She just bought into an attractive lie so she could pretend she was 'making love' instead of getting used like plastic or paper ma'am.

It's time to force that old prick into retirement, or at LEAST get some incriminating shots of him while he's drunk at a frat party and post them on Facebook.

The next time you see some 'report' put out by the RIAA, assume it's a lie.... because it is.  The old business models are dead.  They have been for quite some time.  We're living through their echo... the sounds of their death throes are still bouncing around the canyon walls but the corpse is already stinking.  If the MPAA and RIAA want to slap sunglasses on it and drag it around to try and collect its Social Security checks for a little while longer then that's what they're gonna do.

Just don't let them get into your head with threats and/or false information.   Remember that YOU have the choice to pay for what you feel has value and to NOT pay for what you feel doesn't.   Support new business models, especially the ones who favor cutting out the traditional middle man tier and instead increase the profit share for the people who are creating the art.

Society will be rewarded when it nurtures talent and genuine prolificacy over executive salaries and profit margins.  We love making money and the free market economy as much as the next schmo with a rent payment due.  What we don't love is a manipulated and pre-formed assembly line system of 'approved entertainment'.  You don't need someone to tell you what music, movies or tv shows are 'good' or 'bad'.  You can and should decide that on your own.