zomgpwn!

The Cooper Lawrence Effect

We won't go on and on about this because it's pretty simple and can be summed up in one sentence contained in Lawrence's 'mea culpa' to the NYT. 

"I had asked somebody about what they had heard..."

That's where we stopped reading because everything else is meaningless after that doozy.  There's your journalistic integrity and commitment to professionalism folks.  Just ask SOMEBODY about what they heard.  From that point on you're golden.  Shoot your mouth off endlessly and without bothering to dig into the source of your story.  Third hand information is good enough.

Original story here.

Qaeda don't Skype

OK, so it's a slow day.  We've started, then abandoned posts on the following topics.

Faux News Channel manages to out-stupid itself; gets smacked silly by Keighly.

HTML 5 finally here... almost.

Artificial life is real.  Wait, what?!

AT&T preps "Ministry Of Truth", readies 'thoughtcrimes' filtering online.

Then we saw THIS nugget and we couldn't resist.  al Qaeda's #2 crocktard A-a-Z is taking questions on the freaking intarwebz!  WTH?!  OK, ok... so far the questions have just been submitted but isn't that kind of ballsy, even for these guys?  It gives us a slightly queasy feeling to know that they are comfortable enough to even think about casually chewing the non-pork fat with their peeps.

Actually it almost seems innocuous, until you start to read the questions that have been submitted.  Even allowing for cultural differences, we're just a little bit unnerved - and it's not even because we're on our third cup of coffee.

The only plus we can see in this whole weird development is that there DOES seem to be a considerable LACK of communication between AQ's devotees and the official power structure.  Most of the questions we've seen are so varied and so broad in nature that it gives a picture of disarray, if not downright confusion.  Good enough for us.  As freaky as it is to see someone demanding that the jihad be spread into Egypt and Palestine immediately, it would be a lot freakier if homeboy Ayman actually started responding.

So, we'll just pretend that it's a big, early April Fool's joke for now and laugh nervously while we try not to click on any links that will get us tossed into the 'persons of interest' file we've heard so much about.

All we can say is, we reallly hope this guy jumps onto Skype or some VoIP service so an AC-130 can cruise by to weigh in on the discussion.  C'mon, fignuts!  Pick up the webcam and let's do this thing.

N4p4 V4££3¥ R3g1$t3r. 0n th3 b4££, Ð4wg!

Ever since MW started w00ting off, l33tz have been showing up in mainstream press surprisingly often.

First, we want to be clear.  We're not poking fun at all.  There's just something so entertaining about a serious, scholarly report  on the nuances of a ubiquitously silly linguistic mutation, from a professional type organization like the Napa Valley Register.

We love it like stoners love shake.

Common words include “pwn,” pronounced “own,” which means to dominate an opponent. “N00b,” as in “newbie,” is a common put-down among teens. “The” is often deliberately misspelled as “teh,” and used to add emphasis.

True.. true...  pronunciation issues aside...

Instead of laughing, (New Tech sophomore Andrew) Horobin will sometimes say “Lol,” which stands for “laughing out loud.” He’ll say “ZOMG” (“Oh my god,” with a “z” for emphasis) “when I see something cool.”

That might be taking things a little far Andrew but who are we to try and place limits on the free expression of HS Sophomores?  Nobody, we admit.  That's your parents' job.

Read the whole kekekeke story here.

They'll eat horses, won't they?

One of the least talked about bills soon to hit the floor of the blue-hot U.S. Senate... the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act.  Yeah, you read that right.  Now those crazy animal huggers are trying to take away our RIGHT to slaughter horses!  Oh, wait...  our right to do WHAT?

That's right Skippy, slaughterhouses in the U.S. process horse meat for other countries.  Mostly for export to Europe and Canada where there has been a sizeable resurgence in horse meat consumption as of late.  Our good friend Wikipedia tells us that it has just a skosh to do with the Mad Cow/BSE scares that have put such a huge dent in beef sales worldwide.  But it also might be because the stuff is just so damn tasty.  Or... so we hear.

Everyone at zomgpwn is thoroughly disgusted by the thought of BBQing Trigger but then again we're all culturally sheltered and ethnocentric Amuricans.

God knows that the list of what's considered edible, or not, varies wildly depending on where you call home.  Really - WHAT'S more gross for dinner, horse meat or Lutefisk.  (Hint: it's Lutefisk)

For more disgusting cuisine, check out this Yahoo! Answers entry.  It's just chock full of revolting foodstuffs.